I have a new beauty Guru. A sourdough-munching, zinc-popping, herbal-swilling lady-of-a-certain-age with a strangely youthful complexion. Mrs M is a friend of my mum and since moving I have become a regular at her North London home. We have entered into a comfortable routine whereby I walk through her door, she plies me with a large “fat-girls G&T” (“None of your slim-line bollocks”), then introduces me to her latest beauty finds.
The other day I was making one of my habitual visits when she greeted me with particular glee.
The other day I was making one of my habitual visits when she greeted me with particular glee.
“Waitrose Bottom Butter!” She announced.
Now I’ve known Mrs M for a long time; coincidently there was a period in my early years when she was the only person I’d let wipe my bottom; but I had no desire to enter into a conversation on derrière maintenance with her.
Thankfully my psychological well-being was spared, as she went on to explain how applying said lotion to your face achieved a softness and smoothness comparable to that of the proverbial baby’s rear. She also extolled the virtues of the price, which coming in at £2.89 per 100ml tub, makes this product no bum deal (sorry I couldn’t help myself)!
Unwilling to take even the word of my trusted guardian as sacred, bedtime came and I dipped into the pot, liberally smearing the unctuous lotion all over my face…
IT WORKED!!! Waking the next morning I was pleasantly surprised by the buttery smooth texture of my skin. Although naturally greasy areas (nose, T-zone etc.) are probably best avoided, there is no doubting the moisturising power of this virtuously chemical free potion.
Thankfully my psychological well-being was spared, as she went on to explain how applying said lotion to your face achieved a softness and smoothness comparable to that of the proverbial baby’s rear. She also extolled the virtues of the price, which coming in at £2.89 per 100ml tub, makes this product no bum deal (sorry I couldn’t help myself)!
Unwilling to take even the word of my trusted guardian as sacred, bedtime came and I dipped into the pot, liberally smearing the unctuous lotion all over my face…
IT WORKED!!! Waking the next morning I was pleasantly surprised by the buttery smooth texture of my skin. Although naturally greasy areas (nose, T-zone etc.) are probably best avoided, there is no doubting the moisturising power of this virtuously chemical free potion.
A little research revealed that Mrs M is not the first to champion Bottom Butter. Since 2008 it has had quite the following, with some particularly zealous converts making favorable comparisons between the Waitrose own brand product and Crème de la mer (£970)! One day perhaps I will have the funds to test out this particular claim but until then, there will be a lot of babies running about with very dry bottoms.
