I love a miracle ingredient. Sea-weed extract, Tahitian sand-dust, hair from a golden unicorn. Tell me it will make my eyes brighter, lips plumper or lashes longer and it immediately shoots to the top of my ‘most coveted’ list.
I believe that the roots of this weakness can be traced back to those early L’oreal adverts. Jennifer Aniston, flicking that inhumanly glossy hair and commanding me to ‘concentrate’ on the all important ‘science bit.’ I did more than concentrate - I sat enraptured as the screen filled with computer generated images of hair, miraculously repaired by the latest protein-rich formula.
At the time this fascination may have been passed off as a phase but age, combined with a shady grasp of science has only exacerbated the problem. The thing is, the explanations are all so convincingly logical! I may not remember the exact purpose of collagen, but a vague recollection of the its being banded around in GCSE biology is enough to convince me of its usefulness.
Garnier’s use of caffeine in the fight against dark circles is even more obvious- anyone with basic life experience can see the link there! If a skinny caramel cappuccino can perk you up in the morning, why shouldn’t external usage combat the outward signs of sleep deprivation?
Recently however I have noticed a miracle ingredient that has left even me raising a quizzical brow. Anyone who has not been hiding under a rock for the past month can be in no doubt that Kate Moss has launched a new lipstick for Rimmel containing nothing less than...black diamonds. The first time that my flatmate (Milly) and I saw the advert for these, we sat for a moment in silent confusion. Neither of us knew much about diamonds but we knew that they were pricey and therefore viewed their existence in a £5.49 lipstick with some suspicion.
Now questioning faith in cosmetic propaganda may come naturally to some but for me the experience presents something akin to an existential crisis - I had to do some research. Thankfully the Rimmel website provided a comprehensive explanation. The lipsticks actually contain black diamond pigment and as (in my mind at least), pigment= tiny amount, its usage becomes infinitely more plausible. Phew! My faith was once again restored.
After I’ve just blathered on about the Kate Moss lipsticks, you might assume that I would be testing one. Nevertheless, seeing as all and sundry seem to have chucked in their two-penny’s worth on this subject, I’ve opted for another cosmetic trend entirely: Coloured mascaras. I’m not talking about the electric blue/ violent violet varieties so popular in the late 1990s. The new wave of coloured mascaras treat colour like caffeine, collagen or pro-keratin complex 312; like a miracle ingredient. The concept is simple and (as you may have guessed) oh so logical. A mascara injected with a little colour (blue/ green/ brown), will help bring out the corresponding colour in your own eyes. There are a few different brands experimenting with colour but as I’ve always had a soft spot for L’Oreal’s Million Dollar Lash mascara I decided to try out the Volume Million Lashes Luminizer in Blue (£11.49)...
Now I wouldn’t say that I’m completely disappointed in the results. Like it’s predecessor the mascara coats my lashes well giving them good length, volume and... a slight blue tinge. Any less subtle and this might have left me looking like the fifth member of Bewitched but as it is, it’s actually quite pleasant. The only problem is, I’m not sure whether it really works. When I bounced into Milly’s room, eager to show her the results, she took me into the light, frowned at me intently for a while, and then delivered this unintentionally damning verdict:
‘Well, your eyelashes certainly look bluer!’
Hmmm. Not quite the response I was looking for.
